Last week, a leader got on the phone and immediately told me about a very difficult conversation he needed to have with his boss. He had been working on this a lot before we talked. “Rob, I don’t know what to do.” He was stuck. And he was feeling both frustrated and vulnerable.
Stuck doesn’t mean stupid, inadequate, or “I shouldn’t be the leader.” Stuck means “I haven’t done this before. This is something new!”
When was the last time you heard a leader say, “I don’t know what to do?” When was the last time you said to yourself, “I’m not sure what to do?”

I love it when leaders don’t know what to do. It always means growth.

Of course, most of the time, you do know what to do. It’s a big reason you are the leader. You have answers. You have solutions. You know how to make big decisions. Most often, your answers come from past experience — “I’ve seen this before. Here’s what we should do.”
You are leading on autopilot, operating the way you’ve operated in the past. This is not necessarily a bad thing — except very little learning or growth occurs on autopilot.
To grow, you have to turn off the autopilot. You have to say, “I don’t know how to do this, but I am willing to learn. And I will be a stronger, more effective leader when I do.” As you turn off the autopilot, switch on curiosity.

Turning Off Autopilot + Turning On Curiosity = Growth Opportunity

CEOs Reed Hastings (Netflix), Jack Dorsey (Square and Twitter) and Michael Dell (Dell) all endorse curiosity as a C-Suite essential in this article from Harvard Business Review. Author Warren Berger opens with, “Welcome to the era of the curious leader, where success may be less about having all the answers and more about wondering and questioning.”
How do we cultivate curiosity? When this subject comes up with my leaders, I always encourage them to look at some of the most curious people they know – children.
Little children haven’t yet “learned” that they are always expected to have an answer. For them, it’s a big world to explore. Every day is full of possibility and new things to learn. Children are role models for figuring out creative ways to solve problems.
How do they demonstrate curiosity? They ask a lot of questions. The next time you are stuck, consider asking questions such as the following:
1. Is there a different way that I could look at this problem?
2. Is there someone else who could offer insight?
3. How are my emotions skewing how I look at the problem?
4. What are the possibilities that could arise out of solving this problem?
5. What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
These questions take you into new territory. They help you consider new options. They prompt you to grow your leadership capabilities instead of staying in your comfort zone.
I’m thinking of three leaders I coach who “turned on curiosity” in the face of not knowing what to do next:
• One moved from constant conflict with another executive to a place of mutual respect and an effective working relationship.
• Another confronted a high-stakes ethical dilemma that helped his executive team avoid a bad decision.
• The third went from being a novice in acquisitions to becoming a “go-to” M&A executive at his large public company.
Imagine “getting stuck” in space.  Not good.  Remember the Apollo 13 mission?  The goal was a moon landing, but an oxygen tank explosion crippled the spacecraft. This great clip from the Tom Hanks movie shows NASA’s ground team scrambling to make a new carbon dioxide filter. These rocket scientists – usually considered pretty smart people – had to be creative. Staying stuck was not an option. It was truly a life and death situation. Fear of losing the astronauts and a failed mission could have paralyzed the team. Instead, they got to work, prepared to do something never done before, and improvised a filter that saved the lives of the men on Apollo 13.
If you are a leader going places, you will get stuck occasionally. Don’t be discouraged when you don’t have the answer right away. Get curious. Ask some questions. And get ready to grow.